My Struggle With Faith

Growing up I was always told that there is a god and that there is a heaven and a hell. It was just something that was put in my head that I had no choice but to believe. I have always been surrounded by religious people and I never felt as if I fit in. 

When I was a child my parents signed me up to go to church camps and youth groups. I really enjoyed these events because I was surrounded by my friends. I never really felt as if I was truly strengthening my relationship with god. I would sing the songs and bow my head to pray but it never felt magical like they make it sound, but I kept believing because that is what I was SUPPOSED to do. 

During my teen years I really lost every sense of touch I had with god. I didn’t think twice about not going to church and praying felt pointless. I was faced with extreme struggles and felt like there was no god because why the hell would he be putting me through this.  I always thought that god would lead me to the good things and not put me through the absolute worst times of my life. I was completely dead set that there was no god and that once I die I’m dead; no heaven no hell. 

It wasn’t until recently that I started rediscovering my faith with god. 

August 18, 2017 was the day that I realized that god is real and god is great. My 17 year old brother was in the passenger seat of his friends car as they were heading back to town. The car my brother was in was struck head on leaving the driver of the other car and my brothers friend dead. My brother was literally centimeters from dying. Everything was centimeters from hitting him, the dash, motor, and door. It was like a box was formed around him. My brother walked out of that accident with only cuts and bruises and a fractured hand. Every first responder said that it is completely insane that he is alive. God saved my brothers life. 

Some will say well if god was so great then those other two people would be alive as well. I now believe that everyone has a set arrival time and a set exit time; meaning everyone has a set time they are going to die. I believe that everything happens for a greater purpose and that something good will come out of all of the bad. I have 100% no doubt in my faith. 

2 thoughts on “My Struggle With Faith”

  1. Damn this really hit home for me you commented on one of my post and told me to take look on what you’ve posted and we are kinda alike. Everything you said in this i have felt the only thing different is that i didnt have a brother almost die and i have gotten to the point in my life where i fully believe in god. I havent really tried to get right with god either but i really thought i was the only person of felt this way… thank you for showing me that i’m not the only one

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