The Her and Him in me

Ecila, Me and Nivlek

 

Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light. Maybe it’s easy to see who your friends are when you know who your enemies are, I’ve thought many times this year. This year, their existence meant everything to me.

I am known in my family as someone who is very rich in friends. My family always assumes I will be alright because of this. But it’s a high compliment in my culture, friends being the highest spiritual currency especially the two.

In the final days of 2016, I spent hours in my room crying uncontrollably — sometimes for as much as six hours late in the night — about the state of my friends Ecila and Nivlek have been to me. And now, at the beginning of this year I thought impossible to survive, I am still here in Mavoko. I am crying less, but if I am honest, it’s not because I’ve become used to Ecila being in a different campus and Nivlek always being indoors with the soulmate. It never stops bothering me.

It’s because when I think I can’t grow anymore, when I think I am beyond spent, something in me opens, and into it comes the new them and me, my whole world of likes and loves vanishes as I want to maintain the two. Maybe because am jealous. Maybe because I forced the friendships.

If I have one hope for our future, 2018 and onward, it is this: You can be away from me, but the distance can’t take us: Ecila and Nivlek.

We have each other. We still like. We still love.

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