What It Was Really Like To Date Him

My sophomore year of high school I started dating a senior. I was so happy and for the first time in a long time I was pleased by the way my life was going. He was so nice and I loved being around him. We hung out all the time and there was never a moment we weren’t laughing. He made me happy and that was what I needed. He always supported me in whatever I chose to do whether it was playing multiple sports at one time or even just ordering the largest thing on the menu. He was my rock and I pictured us together forever. 

We both knew that when we started dating there would come a time when he would go off to college. He chose to go to Iowa Western which was perfect because he would only be living about thirty minutes away. Everything was going okay because we were seeing each other every weekend so it wasn’t like we were having a long-distance relationship. 

Soon, things started going downhill. He didn’t want me being around any of my guy friends because he didn’t trust them. He didn’t want me wearing certain clothes because I would attract guys. He needed all my passwords so he could make sure guys weren’t trying to contact me. He was starting to control my entire life and I didn’t like it. 

After weeks of letting him control me I finally decided that enough is enough and I told him that I was not going to put up with it anymore. He didn’t accept that. He told me that I couldn’t break up with him because if I did he would kill himself. He knew exactly how to keep me tied to him.. he knew that I wouldn’t leave if he said that and he was right. I stuck with him but it wasn’t the same. I was short with our texts and I didn’t make much of an effort when we were together. I was dragging myself into this hole of sadness and I needed out. 

I finally told my friends about what had been going on and they told me I need to get out of that relationship immediately before it got any worse. I finally gained the courage to tell him that I was finally done and he went nuts. He would call me multiple times a day telling me that he was going to kill himself and even shot a gun while he was on the phone with me. He would threaten to start disgusting rumors about me and spread some of my biggest secrets around. He would say things like, “you can’t leave me because you aren’t good enough for anyone else.” He would also tell me that I wasn’t skinny, pretty, tan, tall, or smart enough for anyone. 

The final time I hung out with him was when I officially ended it. I was done feeling worthless and I was done letting this 19 year old boy ruin me. I told him I was done for good and he hit me. I couldn’t believe it. I wasn’t going to accept that so I punched him as hard as I could in his face and left. My hand was bruised and swollen but at least I left him knowing that he might have made me weak but I still had one last fight in me. 

He continued to try and talk to me. I had to block his number but somehow someway he would figure out a way to get to me. He would call my friends to see what I was up to. He continued this for over a year after I finally called it quits. 



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