Lost

Lost. It’s the first word that comes to mind. In the last two – almost three –  years since I broke up with Dave, my love life has been a mess. And now with this culmination, I feel lost. It seems everyone I let into my life only ends up disappointing me. I open myself up only to get rejected and shot down. And they just cut me out of their lives like it’s nothing. Their feelings change on a dime. It’s a light switch going on and off. I can’t fathom how that can happen. How people can be so callous and cold. On Thursday night, he was saying he missed me and couldn’t wait to see my place. We had agreed to exchange Christmas presents. Two days later, on Sunday, he tells me someone from his past who he always had feelings for, confessed feelings in return and he wants to pursue that and end things with me. I can’t help but think it’s a lie. Because I’ve thought of using that exact same excuse on someone before. And it hurts even more if it’s a lie, obviously, because that means there was another mysterious reason he didn’t like me that I may never know. And he blocked me on everything. He was quick to let me into his life and quick to cut me out. And it stings. And I’m left feeling lost. Don’t know where to turn or where to go or what to do. I keep repeating the mantra “forward. Keep moving forward.” But I’m stuck in place. 

One thought on “Lost”

  1. Keep your head up and always know that there is someone special, out there, for you. Listen, if you’d like to connect through email, phone or whatever just reply and let me know..

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