Lately I’ve been in a funk. Not sure if it’s the holidays or just everything in general. I have been torn about my job. I work for a big cancer hospital and the job is great but it’s been 10 years and no promotion. People with less time and experience are being promoted all around me. It’s very unfair and I feel like it’s something personal at this point. I’ve applied for other positions but my supervisor has been here for over 20 years and she knows everyone and she always sabotages my applications. I told myself come January finding another job is taking top priority. I deserve more, I have proven myself over and over and it’s time. It’s very frustrating not be appreciated. Why must people in power be so mean and cruel. If anything you’d think my supervisor would encourage me to grow and expand my wings, instead it feels as if its all about keeping me in my place. I’m usually a very positive person but this has truly stumped me. I just truly believe it’s time to go.
Sometimes I feel like my life has been cursed since I was 8 years old. I remember that year because it was the last time I was truly happy and felt loved. Maybe someone put a spell on me but ever since then, EVERYTHING has been hard in my life and the struggles have been real. My life has felt like it has been a string of chances put together by band-aids. Nothing ever comes easy for me. And I always seem to come close but never quite get it or make it. Everyone around me gets everything they want and for me, no matter how hard I work or try, NOTHING…this has been the story of my life. I just wish once, the tables would turn…And no if you are wondering, I don’t pray. I stopped believing in two things when I was 8, Santa and God. They never knew me and I stopped trying to get their attention.
So tomorrow the plumber is coming over. Let’s hope it’s not too bad and too expensive of a job. Last thing I need right now. If it’s something quick and simple it will be a xmas miracle..
One more week till vacation and I cannot wait! I need a trip!