another day, going to work on no sleep or very little..once again I hoped that maybe I met a decent guy, but no, my drunk ass bangs him gets all emotional and scares him off. So one more cock inside me that I’ll never see again. so to stop my tears I ran to feel better, and it does immedietly, I feel better, but now that its gone, i want more and i know I cant afford it. I stole from work to get what I had, and im thinking of stealing more. Ive never been this low. I didnt have to pay when I was young and thin. I didn’t have to fuck them, and I still havent. But tonight im thinking about it. Already fucked someone that I’ll never see again, might as well get something out of the deal. I hate this. I hate me. I dont wanna be me….I would quit if I could, I would end it all, except….I cant let my kids hear your mom commited suicide. it would mess them up forever. So they live with a mother with mental illness and a drug addiction they know nothing about. They know Im crazy but they still love me….i hope they are nothing like me!!!