It’s been 18 days since my last journal entry and a helluva lot has happened. First, I have fallen off the wagon with my workouts. I was doing so well and then Thanksgiving threw me off. Yes, that’s an excuse. I missed 2 weeks in the gym, undoubtedly setting myself back, but this week I’m back and I went 2 times, so I’m working on it. Not giving up this time.
In today’s news, I’m currently upset with myself and my choices. I don’t want this post to be sad or self-deprecating so my intent is to write a letter to myself that is positive and motivating….here we go:
Wow. Why are you so hard on yourself? There is enough stacked against you in the world already, you don’t have to add to it by being your own enemy. You’re human. You make mistakes, big and small. But guess what, you are still loved. You are Beautiful, You are Kind, You are Smart, and You are Caring. & Luckily for you, God Forgives. Don’t let past mistakes define who you are. The best thing you can do for yourself is to learn from your mistakes and NEVER let them happen again. Surely you can manage to do that. Also, don’t be afraid to ask for help. I know you are used to always standing tall and taking care of everything, but sometimes you need help too. It’s ok to ask for help. It doesn’t make you weak or any less of a person. Stop worrying about what other people think of you, stop worrying about how you are perceived. You are your own harshest critic and that’s not healthy. Always speak positively over yourself. Stop negative thinking and self hate. If you don’t love you, and show it, then who will? You deserve all that you have. No matter what mistakes you have made, you deserve love, peace, and happiness. You are a great person. let’s say it again, since you don’t tend to believe it. YOU ARE A GREAT PERSON. God willing, you have a whole lifetime to take the steps necessary to be better than you are today. I have full faith and confidence that you can make the change you seek. It’s time to grow up & put away childish ways and thinking. You can do it, but you have to commit to the change. It’s not enough to feel guilty for a day or two, beat yourself up, and then make the same mistakes 6 months later. That’s not okay. It’s a vicious cycle that ends now. Be better than that. You are better than that. Bet on yourself and you can’t lose.