A very low ebb

this journal entry is quite dark and gloomy so if you are in a good mood be aware. 

the last few days have been hard, very hard. I for some reason found myself in a downwards spiral that i had no control over,  and that lead me to doing something drastic. I made an attempt on my own life i am not going to go into how but safe to say i failed and thankfully so, i realised that although certain aspects of my depression have had breakthroughs others have gotten much worse,  and it is clear that i am carrying a lot of baggage that i cannot get through yet. But i will as i refuse to find myself scaring those closest to me again. I realise i am saying this whilst i am more cognitive and not in the mire that i was in, but if i don’t start now drilling it in to my head with haste.  there may be a time when i am not so lucky. 

if anyone out there is suffering, i am here to help in any way i can. 

my next post will be happier 🙂 

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