6 days till….

Well let’s see..my sink is still not working but someone is coming on Thursday. Hopefully it will be fixed Thursday evening. Honestly all I want for XMAS is a working kitchen sink. I will be the happiest person ever if this comes true. The weather is gloomy and misty today and honestly it’s very fitting. Yesterday I found out my friend’s brother died, he was only 36. He was such a great person and I had the pleasure of meeting him when I was with my last running club. His sister and I were good friends and we ran together and she would bring him out to join us on our runs. My heart hurts for her especially being so close to the holidays.  I plan to keep her in my thoughts during the holidays and just say a prayer for her and her family. I’m not a religious person at all and I stopped believing in God when I was 8 years old but when I know other people believe, I say a prayer for them. God doesn’t know me but I am sure he knows them. I just hope he’s at peace now. If you happen to read this and are religious, please say a prayer for my friend Pam and her family to have a bit of peace during this time. It be greatly appreciated.

Christmas always makes me a bit sad. The other day on the way home I hard John Lennon’s song “Happy Christmas” and it always makes me a bit depressed to hear “So this is Christmas,  And what have you done, Another year over, And a new one just begun” 

My answer is “I feel as if I’ve done nothing” Sometimes I feel so trapped in my life of working, earning money, and trying to get ahead that I get nothing accomplished. I’m just living each day fooling myself I’m getting one step closer to my “BIG BREAK” but in realty, nothing happens. So I’ve decided to empower myself, I will start applying for jobs. I’ve already applied for two and will just do it non-stop. If I want to see change, I can’t wait for my supervisor to give it to me, I have to go get it for myself.  I’m tired of waiting for something that is never going to happen here. This feeling of being trapped is coming from this sense of waiting….Sick of it….my new year’s resolution is to go for what I want…and not wait for someone to give it to me..that is pretty obvious it will never happen. Putting myself first! Onward and Upward in 2018!

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