The Christmas and Birthday

So I turn 35 in about a week.  My sister is visiting from Israel and I have to make sure that she and her new baby are always taken care of and happy. Not that my parents aren’t bending back words for her already. The baby is adorable I do have to say that but still I’m not even surprised by some of the stuff they have said to me since my sister got here, it started when we were all in Israel to be with her as she gave birth. But yea, so my mom asked me to come be with them for the first night of Hanukkah so I said yes since I actually really like Hanukkah. I love the candles and the prayers that are sung. But when I was in the room and it was just mom and me she said: ” Oh by the way I didn’t bother to get you anything for Hanukkah this year since your not going to be around much. Hope you don’t mind, I know that your sisters baby needs more things then you do, and that your not as important” I was taken aback by this and was deeply hurt. Why would she say something like that to her own daughter….I know that they have always favored my sister over me but it’s thinks like this that make me really see what they think of me. They don’t. And probably never will unless I’m right in front of them.  And then when they were opening presents for Hanukkah I was told that the party they were having wasen’t going to be a Christmas party like it was supposed to be, no it’s now a party for my sister again. Since the last time they were there my parents had a party for them. Catered and everything. People gave them presents since they had just gotten married and again was all about them. So I had to sit there and watch my sister open even more presents, not one was for me. No one said it’s good to see you and have you here. Only 2 people came up to me at the party and said Congrats on your wedding! We are soo happy for you. Because that was about a year ago and that’s past now, so it can’t be about me and my feelings. Now after that my parents contacted me about my birthday. Since I get one day where I get to do what I want I was like I want to go to the Japanese tea garden in Golden Gate Park, and I said that I would meet them there since me and my husband are having Christmas at our apartment and it wouldn’t be great to spend the hour drive going back and forth twice. So I get a messaging saying that We are requiring you to go with us to a Kosher Chinese place for your birthday. I’m like really?! I can’t do the one thing I want on the one day I want something. I might as well just leave them at home if they are going to be like this. Why should I bother with them if I’m going to be treated with so much disrespect. I know they love me but sometimes it’s not the best feeling when I can’t even be show that love…. They much rather fly the 8000 miles to see my sister then drive 1 hour to see me. They have gone to see her maybe 3 times this year alone and once to see me and dad didn’t even go, nope mom spent two days with me at Monterey Bay to go whale watching. I did end up going back the next week to see the Orca’s that we missed. Since she didn’t want to go on the all day trip. But they are more willing to fly then spend 1 hour driving. It’s kinda upsetting to know that I’m not even worth the hour drive.

 

Guess I will just have to put up with it and move on like I always do when I’m not the center of attention. At least I know that my husband wishes to know what I thinking and feeling. And will actually take what I’m saying and not say something mean or rude. 

I’m just hoping that others can see that I’m not caring about the presents its the treatment that matters most. Just wish my mom and dad could see it as well. It would be great to know that people actually want to be in my presences and want to spend time with me. I know that around the holidays people can get moody and not want to do things but it would really be nice if I got that one day, one day where I’m doing what I want. But nope guess I’ll just have to do what I do the rest of the year, keep quite and not say a thing. 

I don’t normally vent like this but it’s nice to have something written down for once. I’m sure there will be more drama coming my way since it seems to fallow me everywhere. I was hoping things would have gotten better by my 35th birthday but I’v lost hope I think. At least I know that I have my husband and he is here for me always. 

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