Christmas Eve

At the risk of being redundant, I feel grateful and honestly surprised that I am here, in my home, with my wife this Christmas.  We nearly didn’t make it.  We were pressing ahead with lawyers, making our demands, fighting over everything.  Then I grew, changed, maybe got a tad of enlightenment, and here we are, together for the most wonderful time of the year.  How have  I and am I accomplishing this:

SAA meetings – 1 in person group meeting each week plus 1 telephone meeting each week

Seeing addiction specialist therapist

Reading Big Book and other printed materials

Podcasts on addiction and recovery

Calling other members of our group daily

Reaching out to struggling addicts not yet in recovery

Journaling

Meditating

Anti-depressants

Praying

Working out daily

Talking openly with my wife

Daily inspriational emails from therapist

There are many components to recovery, and I will continue to explore them.  As an aside, our grown son who lives in FL, is struggling with alcoholism.  He doesn’t think that he is, and is very proud that he was able to kick drugs.  I’m pleased that he has done so, but he binge drinks to excess, even unable to walk at times, passing out in a bar etc.  This is of great concern to my wife and me.  He is unwilling to work the 12 step program because he is an athiest and does not get that non believers can work this program too.  The concept of higher power does not have to be “God”, as it is for me.  It is the God of your understanding, which can be anything from the collective consciousness of humanity, clouds, or even a bridge.  You just have to accept that something is greater than yourself, thus greater than the addiction that is in control.  Without that key part, the addiction will continue to win.  Sigh…. I love him and wish I could help him.  He girlfriend / roommate, just got our of jail for 90 days for getting a DUI while on probation for a DUI.  They are a hellish team, trying to help each other with something far more powerful than they themselves.  

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