One of the last things I posted was about how stressed out I was and how much my arm hurt. Well, turns out it wasn’t what we thought it was, which was internal bruising from the fall. Turns out I have shingles. I had it once before 2 years ago, around the same time of year. I was working 3 jobs and living in an apartment complex that very much so stressed me out. With every happening the past few months, I am kind of not surprised by this.
People hear Shingles, and they freak out. It’s actually kind of hard to get. If you have had chicke pox, you carry the shingles virus. It lays dormant in your spine and nerves. It comes out under certain circumstances. 1) Extreme stress 2) You have or had Cancer, or another disease related to a poor immune system. 3) Body trauma, like an extreme fall. 4) You are elderly. I have 3 out of four circumstances. My outbreak happened on the exact site of my extreme body trauma. The only way to “catch” shingles is if you have never had chicken pox and are exposed to a broken blister.
I have spent the past 2 weeks experiencing extreme body pain, chills, fevery night sweats, nausea, huge itchy and painful blisters, and now I am just beginning to feel a bit of relief. Luckily this time around it was on my arm. The last time was on my face, back and side. I have a permanent scar above my lip from last time.
Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and I am just not feeling the magic. Because of the wedding (three weeks until we leave) we couldn’t really buy gifts and do it up like we usually do. I still found some time to bake, but my body is a mess. So I had to slow down quite a bit and find a way to just let it go. This Christmas won’t be much. I am going to do my best to not stress myself out more. I am also going to make myself be assertive, and if I don’t feel well and the holidays are too much, we’ll just leave, no matter what anyone says. I know my family well enough to know that they don’t actually care about my well being when illnesses are concerned. They always act like everything is fine and I am somehow ruining their lives when I am ill (I should specify, this is one side of my family that does this. It makes me nuts.) I’m not having it. If I’m going to make it down the aisle, I gotta scale back on the holiday cheer. That needs to be enough right now.