Step by Step
Tuesday, Dec. 26, 2017
“When I try to reconstruct what my life was ‘before,’ I see a coin with two faces.
“One, the side I turned to myself and the world, was respectable …
“The other side …was sinister, baffling. I was inwardly unhappy most of the time. There would be times when the life of respectability and achievement seemed insufferably dull – I had to break out. This I would do by going completely ‘bohemian’ for a night, getting drunk and rolling home with the dawn. Next day remorse would be on me like a tiger. I’d claw my way back to ‘respectability’ and stay there – until the inevitable next time.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Stopped in Time,” Ch 16 (“Me an Alcoholic?”), p 432.
Today, faith and security in recovery to know that there does not have to be “the inevitable next time.” AA encourages us to live in the solution of sobriety and not in the problem of alcoholism, and I am in the latter if my focus is on fighting off “the inevitable next time.” The threat of a “next time” is weakened if I practice with diligence and integrity the program’s steps and principles and accept intuitively that drinking now, for me, is a choice and that I will be held responsible to the consequences of that choice. Today, “the inevitable next time” may be less so if I stick to the program and the understanding that I have a choice and the choice I make will have consequences. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M., 2017