My friend………

Aparently I’m a bad friend because I don’t say hi how are you doing everyday. I dont support her because I don’t ask her how is she feeling every day……I’m stuck. I’m not supportive enough and I’m not there for her when every she needs me, nope that’s not me. I’m always at her beck and call and if I’m not home when she’s having a crises she gets mad at me. I’m not there for her and I don’t see how much trauma has been in her life. Nope my problems aren’t big enough to be even important. I’ve said maybe 3 times this whole year what my problems are but I spent almost a week not talking to her and that not accepted at all. I can’t take a week and be quite nope I have to say something to her and make sure that she’s okay at all times. Nope I have to be willing to help her fix the problem she is having. It’s never enough with her. I can never be there like she is there for me nope I can’t be the friend she wants me to be. Oh and according to her I wont ever change. Loosing feeling in my legs and arms means nothing when every one is ignoring her and her problems. Nope I can’t even love her with being there for her sometimes, nope I have to be there all the time of every day for the rest of my life. It’s never enough…Ever. What happends when I have a kid? I will be the worst friend then. Because I want to move forwards and she’s not going anywhere. God I’m soo tired of the drama. I’m 35 and it seems all she wants is drama or its fallowing her I don’t know but I”m tired and I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up.

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