The Journey has begun

What is the goal of this journey? As I so nicely stated in our facebook group, to go from being a “chunky dunker” to a “skinny dipper”. Mostly everyone can interpret that differently, so I am documenting what that means to me. 

What’s my current sitch? 195lbs, 37% body fat. My favorite food in the world is a burrito; so versatile, so delicious, so many wonderful flavors being rolled into the mix with an unassuming flour tortilla shell. I used to be a social smoker but have graduated to a 4-5 cigarettes a day. In the morning with my coffee on my way to work, another one in my car if I head out for lunch, another on the way home from work, and maybe one or two more once I’m home when I’m letting the dog outside. Work – I work for an insurance agency. What do I do? Sit at a desk and fill my Pinterest board with recipes from BuzzFeed I’ll never make, but I have 33 followers, so I’m a pretty big deal. I also enjoy smoking weed, but with that comes sitting on the couch watching whatever kickass show I just found on Netflix, Plex, or cable and binge eating whatever concoction I came up with when I decided I’m Rachael Ray in that moment. Then there are my reliable friends, Pinot Grigio and Cabernet. My, how one glass of you makes things so much better. Do I drink daily, God no. Have I matured to the point of enjoying just 2 glasses? No. My excuse has always been if I have just 2 glasses, it puts me to sleep so I have to continue to get past that window or not drink at all. The wasted calories was something that came to mind but I think was just a convenient excuse when I knew me getting drunk in whatever setting I was in would be ill advised and inappropriate, so I opt for nothing at all. When I met with a medium in August, I was told I drink to suppress my creativity. Did I ask about my drinking? No. I asked about my husband’s but they decided I needed to have more to overthink so they plopped that little bit of information in my lap. So, that basically covers my caloric intake and sedentary lifestyle. 

We did our stats last night for our first “weigh in”: BMI, Body fat percentage, and Inches. We’re all pretty much on a level playing field minus me having >20″ less of an ass than everyone else. Our next weigh in will be 4 weeks from now. What have I done today to start my healthy lifestyle? I woke up hungover from copious amounts of Jameson last night. I drank water instead of whatever sugary drink I could find, got nauseous and succumbed to the Ginger Ale that was sitting on my kitchen table. I have to work, I didn’t have much of a choice. Feeling okay at this point. Went to Wegmans and bought a salad I put together at the bar; romaine, cucumbers, red onion, mushrooms, lemon chicken breast, feta cheese (I know, but baby steps), and used the EVOO and Balsamic Vinegar they so conveniently have available. Avoiding gluten again, so it was between a spicy red chili, pumpkin bisque, or chicken tortilla soup. Already had chicken in my salad so I went with the pumpkin bisque. Most likely not the most healthy but again, baby steps. So after spending $60 on my soup and salad because, Wegmans, back at work, sitting at my desk plowing through them both. I’m so full already from overeating for the past 45 days knowing what was of my future, so here it is: my first lesson. Why am I sitting here attempting to eat everything just to clear my plate? My plate doesn’t give a fuck? My dad isn’t here to threaten no dessert if I don’t finish my meal? These ideas that are instilled in us of having to finish our plate is the complete opposite of what it is to have a healthy relationship with food and your body. Listen to your tummy! You good? Yeah. Okay, stop eating. You good? Nah. Take a few more bites and let your stomach and brain catch up to how fast that food is being shoved into your pie hole. Just chill! So as I sit here with half my eaten salad and soup, that I’m going to watch get slightly soggy and my soup cold, I’m going to relish in the fact that I have grown and understand I need to listen to my stomach and not my eyes. 

As for dinner, this will be my first attempt. I think the best way to go about this is to cook our normal meals but replace the fattening items with more calorie conscious items without losing flavor. Thankfully, I’m pretty confident in the kitchen so this shouldn’t be too difficult of a task. We shall see. 

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