The only child

Only child: loner, introvert, no friends

Well I guess that fits me well. I am a loner. I can talk, have fun. I just can’t exert myself to get out there for too long. It drains me. It feels like everyone else is talking to another person but at the same time accomplishing so much.

How do they do that? How can I do that? Are they doing something special that I don’t?

I do know that that’s just how I am. I do know that maybe that’s my limit. Maybe I should just accept myself and be comfortable within my own bubble. Live my life sweet and leisurely.

But is that all that I can really do? Am I just being stagnant of what I could be? Or am I pursuing something that is not meant for me? Is there such a dream that is nor meant of one person? Or is it just society’s bonds stopping us from reaching our true potential?

Is the comfort of accepting who you are truly good for you?

(Well… yes and no. Things can give and get. We’re kinda swaying from the main topic here honey)
[Now are we really?]
[ … ]
[I’ll let this go]

I’m just so scared making the wrong step that I don’t take any step at all. God, I feel so behind.

I want to accept myself and be myself. Be that kid in the corner quietly looking at people. But I also want to be that kid that makes conversations happen. I want to be the reason why those conversations happen (in a good way I mean). God, if only I can have the stamina to do such things.

Energy and time are both the most abundant and at the same time the rarest things we can get from life. We can get to spend it on anything. When we spent it, we can never take it back.

Sometimes, I look way too far in the past. To things that I shouldn’t be thinking of. Or maybe, I’ll be looking too far in the future: daydreaming. Truly, a child for the past and the future.

God, that point in life is pretty complicated. I guess I’ll have to take my time for now.

Looking forward for that New Year to come 🙂

One thought on “The only child”

  1. same here, I’m an only child. Even it’s really fun to be with my friends, there are times that I feel that I want to be alone. like i don’t know why but it’s like a need, i would be physically and mentally uncomfortable if im not. it’s quite heavy to feel. so weird

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