[155] ~*Mon – 01/01/18*~

[4:15 pm]

Well, the New Year is here and I feel very much blah. I don’t know why I feel blah just like I felt on Xmas. I’m home alone and I don’t know, just feel sad. Hub left for work and it was very sad cause his back hurt and I wish he would of stayed home with me. I really don’t understand why I feel this way on Holidays. I guess maybe cause I know other people are with family and I’m here alone. It shouldn’t affect me thought but anyways.

I’m still coughing and I’m getting very scared that I will have to go to the ER very soon if I don’t get any better. I took the last of that med bottle last night and had a cough-puke thing. I coughed so much that my sides hurts. I’ll make myself some chicken noodle soup and maybe drink some hot chocolate later on just so I can try to keep that mucus out of my throat. I’ve also started doing the water-salt thing last night and I think I will do that for a few days to see if it helps.

So yesterday morning I had that cough-puke thing going on right before work so I was scared to be doing it at work. I had just woken up and doing that took all of my energy. I did manage to make it through the day without doing too much coughing. As we were going to some friends to play a board game, in the morning I already felt like cancelling as I wasn’t feeling and hub was sick as well. I had warned my friend that we might cancel but we still went in the end. I didn’t think we would be staying there so late but we stayed there until 3 am as we started playing the game around 9 pm (before they had explained the whole thing to us) and finished it around 2 am. Dang! I still don’t understand a darn thing of the game but I still managed to be on the winning team. Lol! We had also played another game before starting this one and I managed to win that one also. Woot woot! I hadn’t realized that my friend had done so much drinking but by the end she was drunk and a bit annoying. I really can’t stand drunk people. Another of her friends was also sorta drunk. Me and hub were the only ones not drinking. So yea, we were playing the game and didn’t even realized it was the New Year. Someone checked their phone and it was 12:15 am.

I woke up at 3 pm with hub today and haven’t done anything yet. I plan on washing the bed sheets and nothing else. Today’s a lazy day! I’ll be watching Desperate Housewives and maybe reading. I know later I want to take a nice relaxing bath. I’m trying not to think of my car but it’s there in the back of my head cause my safety is now officially expired. I’m not sure if the garage is open tomorrow but I hope so as I want to go see what’s going to happen. I know they will give me a reject but I’m not too sure if I can still drive with that and I sure hope so cause I need my car for work. I will more than likely need an extension on that reject as I can only get my car in for the body work on Jan 16. I just want it all done and over with so I can stop thinking about it.

Talking about needed my car for work, I’m a bit tired of having to do that. I love my job but I keep thinking about how I will never get a new car or a car I want cause of my clients. Lots of them don’t pay attention or aren’t careful so I can’t have them in a new car. I kinda feel like maybe it’s time to be looking for something else where I don’t need to use my car but I just don’t know what. I would like something like 9-5 and then I could do a few clients in the evening, I would keep a few. It’s just annoying cause I got screwed when I graduated and never got into the association so now I can’t really have a “real” social work job. I’d have to get talking with someone and see what I can do but I just feel too lazy for that. I just wish I could of had a job at the Halfway House like I wanted. It’s still breaking my heart that I wasn’t able to work there cause of the “casual” situation. I also never applied for Parole Officer in the end as it will be the same situation. I guess I sorta gave up on working in correctional which is making me very sad.

Alright, I think I will stop here cause I’m already feeling sad-ish and if I keep writing I will just end up feeling bad about myself and I don’t really want to feel that way right now. The New Year is suppose to be a better one for me so let’s try to make it that way. I shall go make myself some food even thought I really feel lazy right now. I just can’t believe the New Year is already here. I had so many things I wanted to start with the New Year and here it is, I’m not sure how all the things I want to change in my life will go but I’ll work on that as the year go. I wish myself some luck!

I’m also not too sure about the temperature outside as I haven’t looked but I’m not gonna get caught again. When I know I won’t be going out with the car I will be starting it to make sure the battery doesn’t die in the cold.




Leave a Comment: