I Am Not Bitter Anymore…

well, here we are. it has been a year. I suppose it is time for me to realize whaever we had might have been good at one time, but we aren’t those people anymore. I am making attempts, though small, at letting go of the memories I clung to out of the fear of forgetting, because I know I will never forget you. I can no longer allow the past to haunt me with “what if” or “maybe.” I am choosing to be happy for you because I know how rare it is to find someone who is willing to stay. I no longer want to hurt at the thought of you not staying. I need to walk away and not look back this time, despite all the moments I want to. I need to come to terms that I can no longer go about thinking we could ever get it right. I need to let go of the constant desire to hear from you. I need and deserve to hear from someone who will choose me and only me. perhaps it is true what they say. maybe it is possible to love each other the best we can, and it still not be enough. it isn’t helping to cling to the wanting and wishing and hoping that one day you realize my love is true. I have come to terms with the reality of never being able to forget someone who gave me so much to remember. but it doesn’t have to hurt me anymore. our love, though difficult, was real and honest. although it was not a love that lasted… it was a love that forever changed me. 

One thought on “I Am Not Bitter Anymore…”

  1. You write beautifully, and this is sooooo relatableeeee. Especially about letting go of memories that I clung onto in fear of forgetting that person. I can hardly remember details of our shared time together now, but I will always remember that person who changed my life forever, for better or for worse. One of life’s biggest lessons is that there is beauty in total destruction and devastation. Thanks for sharing this post. Got me to self-reflect.

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