** I told ya that she liked spicy sausage*** What an awesome few days with my children. We have a ton of fun together. Once again…… it felt very empty to be out and about without their mother. I would see families out having fun and I just ached inside. I wonder who got to kiss her at midnight and ring in the new year with her?!?! I used the title “If you chase after 2 rabbits….. you won’t catch either one” because it easily explains why I am still chasing after my wife/family. People ask why I don’t move on. I often ask myself why I don’t get into a relationship to try and bring happiness/contentment into my life. It’s an easy answer. We live in a time where people give up on one another easily. Nobody wants to do the time and pursue what is right. When the time comes and my wifes eyes are opened…… I don’t want her destroyed because I moved on. God, I miss her soooooo much. I got to see her on a church video for over an hour. She was sitting in front of the camera. A glimpse of her brings back memories and raises the hair on my arms. I’ll also get a sneak peek of her tomorrow. When she realizes what sacrifices that I will make for her and my family….. she will feel blessed. I know that her anger has to be dealt with first. My daughter asked me if her mother would ever feel bad about what she is doing/ how she is living. I responded…. “I hope so”. I talk about her all of the time. I was telling my kids how beautiful their mom’s feet are. LOL I don’t hold back anything. I might set myself up for more heartache but I want everyone to know that I have a pure heart with pure intentions. Love is love. I cannot say that I love her and then speak otherwise. I will show the world that I love her. The only thing left I have to give her is my life. I am very nervous about getting these divorce papers. I know that they are coming. I’m very sad. I had tried to convince myself that I would not even see January 2nd. I hurt so bad to be hated by someone that I love/admire so much. I wanted to build an empire with my family. I mistreated my beautiful bride and am now paying the ultimate price.