I just came across this site. I am very excited to start typing! I have been wanting an open diary for years! I actually didn’t even know this existed until I saw a comment on a facebook video a few minutes ago. It’s 5:04pm. I have done nothing today except put my living room back to where it was 3 months ago. That is the last time my husband and I get a roommate. I have had roommates before… but when you are married, dynamics are so much more different. She lasted 3 months. She was suppose to stay a year. None-the-less, I am happy she is gone. She was incredibly dramatic! And very loud. I can get loud when I get hyper, but not to the decibel she could. She had no respect for anyone but herself.
I tried to help her out, I tried to do the Christian thing. I am just glad that chapter is over and I have my house back. Even my two cats seem to appericate having the house back. My house isn’t that big to begin with mind you. It’s a 2 bedroom home built 60+ years ago. It’s a fixer upper. A BIG LITTLE fixer-upper. “Have your own land” they said, “It’s so much better!” they said. Meanwhile, I am sitting here with a space heater and flannel PJ’s trying to keep warm. Who knew it cost $1,000 to fill a tank of oil? I have to do the dishes in the tub as the pipes froze for our kitchen sink. It’s been frozen for 5 days or so now. The toilet is frozen too. I have been filling up a pitcher in the tub, using it to pour down and flush the toilet. Winter is much harder on us here then summer, for obvious reasons.
My mother In-law lives a few blocks away. She hasn’t visited for a few months since the roommate had moved in. She didn’t like the roommate. HAHA Good! My Mother In-Law sold us this house. Though I am greatful, it’s been 5 years or so now, and she STILL thinks this is her house. Some days I wish I was a cat, so I can piss on things and claim my territory. She comes into the house, and get this….MOVES THINGS! AHHHH… it drives me up the wall. She plays with the blinds, the ceiling fans, cusions, dishes, you name it. I spend a good half hour putting everything the way it was after she leaves. There is a method to my madness woman, get on board! Now that the roommate is gone, she should be coming by again soon.
My mom can’t visit like she does. My mom lives a good 30 minutes away by car. She doesn’t drive. I live in Quebec, my mom lives in Ottawa. I guess my mom is intimidated having to take two separate bus routes into another province. She has visited! Though I don’t think she likes it here very much. I don’t know why… I keep my place clean. *shrugs* Oh well, I visit her often and that’s all that matters.
I am currently out of work. It’s been 5 days.. I am going nuts. I had a cleaning company. I did that for 4 years. I did like it, however the taxes and the financial stress got to me. It did! I just couldn’t deal with my 45 clients either. It was too much. I have tried hiring before, it just never worked out. So I said Fuck it, I am going to do something else. I really just needed something stable. House cleaning is not stable. Your income relys on every single client. Ah, getting stressed just thinking about it. I am not shy to hard work. I guess, after my business partner got deported (Another story involving fraud on her part towards me)…I tried to hold everything up on my own…but the weight got too heavy. Part of me feels like a complete failure. but another part of me knew it was for the best. The stress of it all was triggering my PTSD episodes. Mind you, I also had just found out that who I thought was my Bio-logical Father wasn’t in fact my Bio-logical father….opening Pandora’s box! That’s another story for later.. BUT I had a plan. Keep some of my clients and find something else full-time that was stable.. stable hours and stable pay. Well, I kept 6 clients. Finding the Stable full-time job has been an issue.
I tried working at a little breakfast and lunch fast food place. They let me go because they couldn’t deal with the minimum wage increase. *sigh* I worked again for a bakery in a mall, they could only give me Sunday shifts. FINALLY, I sucked up my pride and called an old friend who also owns a cleaning company. I used to work for her. She says she can give me hours and we will talk in the New Year. So that is what I am banking on to pay my bills. I don’t like being without a job. Though, it’s nice to be able to relax and watch Little House on the Prairie, it’s also nice to be stable financially.
I only need that job temporally. You see, I am currently in school. I have 5 courses to complete. I finished 1 course with a 97% . I am pretty proud of myself. I have 4 more to go. On Jan 16th… I start up my courses again. This time I am taking 2 at a time. I am nervous, hopefully however I can get done quicker and find a job in that field. It’s the Palliative Care Field by the way. Online seems to be the best way to get an education for myself. I am going to be real, and tell you all I am scared. I don’t really know what I am doing in life. I am just trying to be a good wife, daughter, pastor and human. I am only 28! Some days I feel 8 or 18 even…
Happy New Year!