Losing My Bestfriend

 I think I always knew we would end up going our separate ways

 I met my best friend when we were seven years old. I had to sit beside her in class and I thought she was the most annoying brat I’d ever seen. We used to always fight and our teacher had to butt in to pacify us, but we were always stuck together since our parents were the best of friends. So it was kind of inevitable for us to become friends. And boy did we.

  I‘ve had a fair amount of friends growing up,but not more to label them as best friends or not less for them to be mere acquaintances. They were just friends.I think it’s because of how I am. I mean I always have a nonchalant expression on my face to hide my shyness, which people mistook as a stuck up attitude problem. But she was always there. She was always my best friend.

  As the years passed, we were placed in different classes and we made a lot of other friends, but she was always my bestfriend and I was hers. She knew almost everything about my life, and I guess I could say she was more of a sister to me since I had no siblings. She was always the social- butterfly who thought life was made of unicorn sprinkles (umm…random much?) while I was the sarcastic realist. I’d say we were quite the duo.

  I feel quite guilty for all the times I took her for granted. Because, it was etched in my brain, that at the end of the day, she would always be there for me. And boy was I wrong.

  Around a year ago things started to get quite tense with us. Our long quirky texts reduced to a short hello. And after sometime we stopped talking since we were both in entirely different classes and our chances of meeting was highly unlikely.She got a new bestfriend and I felt my heart drop everytime she wrote long captions about her other friend or when they posted pictures together. Sure I had friends whom I could talk to but my eyes glazed green with jealousy and hurt when I always see them together. 

  We were drifting apart and I was scared to do anything about it since I’d rather believe she’s my bestfriend than be face with the brutal truth, that I’d been replaced. Soon enough, her popularity had no bounds and she became the very person we always made fun of. Gone was my large doe eyed innocent dancer and in came the snooty downright bitch. 

   I’ve always been the person who cares way too much about things. My mom thinks I overthink but she’s wrong. I just care a lot. 

   My birthday rolled in, and the both of us had a tradition where we were the first ones to wish each other and some part of me thought she would. But she didn’t and I thought she forgot. We saw each other in the hallway and she just waved and smiled a bit. I’d had enough of her tactics, so I just went and confronted her. She told me that she remembered my birthday and she didn’t wish me because she thought I had changed drastically over the period. I was angry with her at first and then apologized to her, but she just completely ignored me and threw our ten years of friendship down the drain right on my seventeenth birthday.

  I went home and locked myself in my room and just cried. Even Shane Dawson and junk food couldn’t help me. But then I just wanted to laugh because I could have done anything for that girl but she just let it go for a few minutes of fame. Pity.

   It’s been a few months past my birthday and everytime I walk in the hallway and see her, I don’t see my bestfriend. I just see a completely different person and it’s not even awkward anymore, it’s just a blurb of nothingness. I don’t feel anything about her anymore. And when a girl asks me what happened to us, I just say, I used to know her.

  We were best friends before but now we’re just mere strangers. strangers.

                                                                                                                       

                                                                                                                           letting go,

                                                                                                                              anon

                                                                                                                           

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