Wow I haven’t updated or wrote in this thing since the day after my birthday. So much has happen the last few months and I just wanted to write it out. So My birthday came and went. Well we took the kids to Disney in October. It was hard I missed him like crazy and I wish he was there to see the girls faces. I know that he was there in spirit but I wish he was there physically but I know if he was he still wouldn’t of made the trip.  He was just too sick to make it.  But we were still hopeful. Disney came and went November came. Well It was Danicas birthday Thanksgiving.  So this was going to be hard but we knew we would get through it but again it was going to be hard. So Danicas birthday was good we just had a little get together.  Thinking of possible doing her birthday in October some time because with it being in November a lot of people get sick. So that means her party is small so I think we are going to talk about it.  Thanksgiving was hard. We had both sides of the family and they are talking about coming back this year.  So we are excited about that.  December came ugh Christmas another favorite for my dad.  But with little tears and Christmas gifts to my mom and the kids we made it through it.  So we go through that but than the 6 months came. Wow can not believe he has been gone for 6 months like where has the time gone. I guess when you keep your self busy and the months after his death are the busy ones with vacation, birthdays, holidays and illness times go by fast. New years came and nothing special went to my sisters.  My mom didn’t want to do her annual party which I didn’t know until later in the week.  So that was a little strange but it was still a good time. 

Danica: She has been talking about her best friend a lot lately.  She really miss him the last few weeks and she doesn’t understand but than she does understand.  She had a pet beta and her name was dory and she died.  She cried but she said that her pop pop will take good care of her until they meet again.  I cried just with her. So we are going to get her anther one here soon. She has been asking for one. So we are going to get her one.   She only has 4 months left of school and than I will have a kindergartner ahhhh.  She is such a little lady I cant wait to see what happen in the next few months.  They are talking that they probably don’t have to put her in speech next year she is coming around and what not.  I have seen a big difference. 

Madyson: Oh my lil peanut.  what to say what to say.. She is a mess. LOL no seriousely she is amazing.  well I decided that it was time to get rid of the diapers.  Yeah so this past Tuesday I started potty training.  She is doing okay she doesn’t like going out yet so that’s been a challenge and the other is that she like to hold her pee in for hours and im telling you all HOURS. she can hold it from 6pm till 1030 am.  She still wears a diaper at night and she was doing amazing.  Well this morning she peed in it.  So now we start back over on the 7 nights of diapers.  last night would of been the 7th night well now it starts back over:( But she will get it.  She pooped 3 times on the potty which is great! She keeps holding her butt so I know the poop is coming.  She is also doing okay in speech.  She needs a lot of work. So we will see what happens.  Second thing she may be able to start preschool in November.  Which would be amazing.  So I have to get the papers together so that I can get them filled out for school.

Me: I am doing OKAY. I have my good days and I have bad days.  I still wish that he was here and I still think of how he would of been if he was.  Would he still be in treatments would he be so sick no to but still holding on. Would he be cured. Would he still be working at the post office. Would he still be able to cuddle with the girls. Play with the boys. I still wonder. But than if he was here and he was hanging on how would he be? So than I think back like wait maybe its better that he is gone so that he wasn’t suffering. I hated to see him suffer he was  an amazing person to suffer…So I am officially done with his sister and her kids. Im s done with them.  Its been 6 months and I have not heard from her.  EVERYBODY got Christmas cards from her and my sister and I did not.  We do not know what we did to deserve the way that we have been treated the last 6 months so I just said I was done.  I deleted her off of everything and the boys. They never bought anything to my family so why should I let them see how my family is doing. I am not saying anything to her unless she calls me.  Im not going to put drama in the family with her because she aint worth the time or day. If I do see her I will be respectful but I do not need to have any communication.  Everybody is afraid that if I say something its going to start something and im like well she needs to know that his death is not about her.  Other thing is is that I was good enough when he was a live but hes gone and she don’t call me.  Sorry I shouldn’t have to call a grown ass women who started drama the day we buried my father she should of called me but she didn’t. Im tired of her being so negitative when she talks to my mother. Im just so tired of her period. So yeah that’s it. I know I will never get a phone call from her and that’s okay but when and if she does im ready. 

Well that’s what is going on so we shall see hopefully im to absent for so long this time around.  So happy new years to you all!

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