People all over my social media and are getting mad at the term “New Year, New Me”. To some extent I see why they don’t believe in a New Year’s resolution however that does not mean to put others down for it. I recently submitted an article here. It was…. emotional. It was filled with a lot of anger. I was filled with a lot of anger. In truth, I am simply lost. I mean, I am never satisfied with any new development in my life and I always seem to be upset. Until I realized I am constantly moving with no direction. Any sense of direction I do have is changed constantly. I am about to embark on one of my biggest milestones of my life and have no idea how to steer the wheel. I am about to graduate. Yes, this May. Everyone keeps asking what I plan on doing. Where am I going? Am I staying here in the city? My answer is always the same, “We will see”. I need some me time that does not involve other people. I need to be alone. This is my New Year’s resolution. To be alone and focus on myself. Not on a guy, not on my family, not on my friends but on myself.
Where will this take me? I have no idea. I am about to be a 22-year-old college grad. How am I supposed to know what to do? How do I even know what I want to do IS what I want to do? I don’t. This past article was written during my breaking point. I thought when I reached that point, all Hell would break loose. Screaming, yelling, throwing, and just leaving. Although all of this happened, I woke up the next day… different. I was still hurt and angry. However, I didn’t want to scream or yell. I didn’t want to throw things. I didn’t want to leave. I felt the old me change though. I am not going to get rid of my kindness and generosity however I will change how I go about life. I will no longer give when I have nothing to give. I will no longer offer to those who are ungrateful. I will no longer put others before myself. I will be me but new and improved. My biggest change? I will NOT let others define me or choose what is best for my life. What is wrong with improving myself? Nothing. 2017 is over. The old me is not gone. She is just now accommodating to the new me.
Quote of the day (which is actually a lyric from a song): “When you lose yourself, you lose it all. If you’re at the top, then brace for the fall”. -Tori Kelly “Funny”