Trigger warning.. maybe??

I’ve never really written any sort of journal entry but I really need to vent. I just need to know i’m not alone.

I quit my job today with no back up plan because my depression and anxiety is getting in the way. Also, my boyfriend who I’ve been in and out of relationship with for just over a year, is starting to get more and more controlling and mean.

I’m the sort of 19 yo you’d meet and instantly get along with, but then I trust to easy and become a push over, which is why I have no friends, they all fucked me over.

Anyway, everything’s getting on top of me.. work/relationship/social life/mum’s passing 3 years ago.. I just feel like there is no end to misery.. I’m not writing an entry saying how much I wanna kill myself… but I do wanna die

2 thoughts on “Trigger warning.. maybe??”

  1. Hey there,
    You are definitely not alone. I’m going through a time in my life where I’ve been quite sad thinking what is the point (I’m 19 too). I’m just trying to allow myself to feel sad because nothing is permanent. I think sometimes I prefer to be sad because when I get all happy it feels awful when it is taken away. It’s a bad way to think but I have bad thinking behaviours. Once you check out my diary entries you will see you are not alone.

  2. I’m sad to hear that you have lost your mother at such a young age, that has to be very hard.
    It sounds as if you have alot of things weighing on you right now, which can make depression and anxiety much worse. Maybe it’s for the best that quit your job, maybe it will give you time to focus on your mental health a little.
    I can also relate to the controlling and mean bf I had one of those when I was 18-20. My best advice is to drop him now, the longer it’s prolonged the harder it is to leave.
    Take care, hope to see more entries from you 🙂

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