6 days down

How am I doing? I’m currently searching Pinterest for workouts that include alcohol.

One week will be tomorrow. I’m getting close to mastering the green smoothie. It truly is all about meal prep. As long as I have the healthy food available, I will eat it. I’m doing extremely well throughout the week when I am at work and limit myself to my own food. Out and family parties, eh.

Rehearsal Dinner on Friday, managed to get by with 2 large grey goose and sodas (not gluten free) and one pulled pork nacho. Managed to pull that one straight off the tray near the kids’ table in order to avoid adults being able to witness my lack of etiquette, so was it worth it? Yes. The problem I’m realizing is since I’m not eating for 2, I’m getting drunk faster and now I am living the life of the Real Housewives of Snyder that I babysat for, for 12 years. I’m highly buzzed and decide it’s time to go out with Sarah, which turned out to a whole group of people, lots of vodka and cigarettes. There’s always tomorrow.

Wedding: Honestly if I had to guess, 9 glasses of red wine? I had the most beautiful woman ever next to me which was great motivation to try and keep my shit together with the appetizers. Veggies drenched in ranch dressing (baby steps), couple of pieces of fruit, and NO CRACKERS! Win. Then the caprese sticks pass, I miss my opportunity. The stuffed mushrooms and spanakopita pass. I make my move. The mushrooms definitely have breading in them, but it’s a wedding and I will make every excuse possible to eat savory appetizers and gluten. The spanakopita! One of my favorite foods, was not worth it, at all, but it happened. Was thankfully in front of this beaut (my table friend) at the buffet line so I was provided some insight into what a skinny person eats and followed suit. I did get green beans just to fill my plate with some greens, which she didn’t but, chicken medala or whatever, chicken, rice, and mushrooms, seafood alfredo but we only took the shrimp and scallops, skinny, like 3 rosemary roasted potatoes and the roast with gravy. No dessert, just more red wine. 10 degree weather in a dress with no jacket is a great deterrent for smoking cigarettes, I must say. Maybe topped off the evening with 5 total (including drive home). Vaped in the hallway with my new bff, Whitney and her husband, Jesse. Along with the normal crew, Sabio, Adler, & Joshua. Ended the night in a wonderful way. 

We passed New Year’s Eve. Had lobster gnocchi, not gluten free, but I did skip the appetizer! Limited myself to vodka sodas (3) at the restaurant and now that I think about it, 2 at Gary & Mitch’s BEAUTIFUL apartment above Rue Franklin, and one glass of champagne. So, once I type it out it’s not all that great, but honestly could’ve been worse; I had a smoothie and popcorn earlier that day, I think that’s all I had. Also, may have eaten the rest of Shany’s gnocchi that he didn’t finish at the restaurant when we got home at 1a.m. 

And here’s where I really topped off the 4-day-binge: Didn’t wake up hungover, thankfully! Have Aunt Diane’s New Year Day party. Appetizers are out and they’re all staring at me. Those little shrimps with some spicy ass cocktail sauce, “fruit kebabs” cantaloupe, grape, and watermelon, nuts, and the normal cheese, cracker, and pepperoni display. Nothing too tempting, so I’m good with the fruit and a couple of pieces of cheese with pepperoni, skip the crackers. Only water to drink, as I said before, not worth the calories to have one or two glasses of wine; I’d rather eat those bishes. Here it comes; my mother-in-law brings out what everyone and anyone would want the day after New Year’s Eve; motherfuggin pizza wrap thing in crescent rolls. Are you joking? My mouth is salivating but I’m determined to show people I’ve changed. There are 3 pieces left and I’m begging people to eat them and silently considering throwing them on the floor so they’re ruined. I asked what time dinner will be served and Diane answers “I’m shooting for 5:30”. I asked at 4:42 so I advised I think I can make it and start munching on the candied nuts. Still better than the crescent rolls filled with pure deliciousness.

Dinner: The typical bland cooking of Aunt Diane; salad with croutons, meatloaf, season-less mashed potatoes, corn and peas out of the bag, and bland gravy. Yeah, I took two pieces of meatloaf, Mom! What of it? As she’s eyeing my plate with her portions fit for a toddler. Guess what, she had 3 glasses of wine that I saw, so your extra 369 calories you drank, I’m eating! Make it through dinner and dessert comes out, yeah I can eat some cookies, but I pass. I’m in the clear. I made it. Then we start cleaning up. I’m again staring at those crescent rolls with pizza. It’s not about not allowing yourself in the indulgence, I’m really trying to stay away from the gluten to get rid of this 6 month bloat I’ve had from not avoiding it again. There are two left at this point, they’re probably cold, not worth it, I don’t care, I dipped that bugger in the pizza sauce and stuffed it in my mouth before anyone could see because I’m obviously shaming myself for eating. Wrong, my mother-in-law totally catches me and doesn’t say anything, but ya know what, IT WAS DELICIOUS.

I go home and actually have two bowls of Lucky Charms because that day already went to shit so I enjoyed finishing that box to the fullest.

Weekdays are boring: Smoothie, hard boiled eggs, greek yogurt, water, etc. I have been leaving my cigarettes at home so now I’m coughing up the bullshit but had it not been for the fucking blizzard yesterday, I wouldn’t have had to get a pack of cigarettes. After battling Harlem Rd for 45 minutes to go 3 miles I couldn’t take it any longer. Whatever. 

I think I’m ready to start working out now but Joshua won’t help me bring up my exercise bike from the basement until the tree is down & ornaments are put away. Will do that tonight and figure out a work out plan that includes drinking with Kaitlin. Were good at improvising, thankfully.

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