Jan. 4th. 2018

It still feels weird typing 2018. Same feeling as when you turn a year older and have to get used to telling people you are that new age when they ask! hahaha. It took me a whole year to get used to saying 2017, and 27 years old.. now ya’ll want to change it to 2018, and 28? *le sigh*

I spend most of the morning eatting Ferrero Rouchers. OK..not most of the morning.. but a good chunk of it. Today was as busy as I expected it to be work wise. Today however I worked in a team of 3! I haven’t done that cleaning a house in years. Makes the work a whole lot easier mind you. 

My counselor called yesterday, I forgot to mention it. She was reminding me about my appointment for today. I haven’t been in a month. I had to resceduale her yet again until I can get a pay cheque. I hope I can go on Tuesday. My nightmares are coming back.  I think that is simply because things have been so unstable recently. Hopefully this isn’t a regular occurrence like it used to be. One time here and there.. even 3 times a week I can deal with. If I get them every night like I used too, then I will probably need to go on Meds.

When the Doctor told me to go on Meds, I just considered him a pill pusher. I don’t have too much trust in BIG Pharma. Although 50 straight nights of endless nightmares almost did me in. I almost caved. Then I thought, let me at least see a counselor and try that avenue first. I havn’t been with her for very long, but it has been a good journey. Things were shaping up, until recently.  That’s why I hope to see her, so I can discuss what’s been going on. It’s good to get help. The money spent is money well worth it.

I guess what’s what I have to deal with and manage now. “You have Chronic and Severe Post-Tramatic Stress Disorder” Both my doctors confirmed it. At least I have a name to what’s been going on. That in itself is a relief in a way. I just have to try and keep it under control, and know my limits, mentally, physically and in every area.

Mom wants to take me to Cuba in April. She loooves Cuba.. she goes twice a year to a little 2 star resort. I have been once with her to that resort. It is cute. I obviously can’t afford it at this time, but mom said she wants me to go with her so bad she will do her best to pay for my part of the trip. Well, ooook. I really should go. I havn’t been on vacation in years. This trip my Aunt and Grandma want to come too (They will pay there own trips). I think it would be an amazing trip the 4 of us… if my mom and grandma can get along. They are so passive aggressive with each other. This trip will either be an amazing memory that will last all of our life times, or a horrific memory that will last our life times HAHAHAHA there is no in between.

In all actuality I am just looking forward to the free buffet and open 24 hour bar.

One thought on “Jan. 4th. 2018”

  1. When I read about your chocolates it makes me want to go get some lol. A trip to Cuba sounds amazing! I hope you do decide to go, would love to read about it!

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