January 5, 2018 Friday 2:21pm

My chest has been very very sore,  I’m scared I could be pregnant.  This isn’t the first time, it’s been about 3 times we’ve had scares . I just witnessed my sister have her baby the 29th , and the pain just didn’t suit me well . Also we struggle , everyone does but were beginners, we are young , have a house, a car , a dog. We’re starting off more early than most young adults. We struggle on electric and food most of the time, his job won’t let him work full time (40+) hours so he struggles,  I just got a job and it’s pretty good pay , I’ll be making $400 every two weeks,  he makes barely $200 a week ..  I’ll be starting off with 8.50 a day, but then there will be a remodel for this store so , this is a temp job . They’re only keeping like 20 people out of the 65 they hired . Most people where I work are lousy, ghetto, loud, obnoxious,  and just annoying. I like my job because I work at night,  late when they’re is nobody , and my job is mostly independent work . I don’t usually work with other employees unless they put me in a close area or I need help lifting. I’m scared of being pregnant because I wanted to wait , I wanted to be at that age where I know I can always provide , know I have that extra money to provide food , diapers , what about the future ? My child will be home schooled,  it’s college I worry for, i want them to have my boyfriend’s knowledge , he’s so smart . Most intelligent man I’ve ever met , he knows everything, about everything . He’s so smart , I sometimes just lose my focus and I start to admire him, his eyes, his face,  his mind.  Everything is just so perfect,  his intelligence either makes me smile uncontrollably or I get turned on . Either way I love him, unconditionally,  I love him. He’s mine and I can’t wait to run away from this God for saken place with him . Start my life with him. 

Ready or not for a child , I’m glad it’s with him . 

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