Jan 6, 2018 Saturday 3:10 AM

Can’t sleep, I’m sure it’s because of my job hours and also I took like a 5 hour nap today on the couch . It’s been pretty ok so far, my guy didn’t bring pizza so that was a bummer , I suffer from hemroids , I’ve been in alot of pain today . It started about 2 years ago maybe,  it wasn’t that bad but the whole ‘ Ebola ‘ virus was going around and one day I went to the bathroom and it hurt , and I bled alot, so I’m sure you get the idea . I didn’t tell anybody because ya know, I didn’t wanna end up being in a lab or shot to death haha. I’m a big over thinker , I always over think, freak out easily but always try to stay calm and positive . Anyways , It would be like a pattern, it would be there for a month and then just disappear,  eventually it would come back and so on and so forth ; but this time , it’s gotten to the point where I bled so so much and it hurts like glass cutting me , i get to the poiny where im whisper screaming and i just.. hurt. Couple days ago I was talking to my sister about it, which she also has it and she told me about this cream she has and it helps , whatever.  So , I was like alright . I got some off brand preparation H stuff and I mean , it had like a cooling sensation for like 30 sec which felt amazing , but right after that 30 sec was. Non. Stop. Itching. Oh my goodness the itching lasted so long, I wanted to die. Ever since , even without the cream on the itching is so bad. I went to the bathroom earlier and I’m still suffering from it, it feels super swollen, and it’s sore and it just hurts … I should be getting some sleep now. 


That is all . 

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