painting plaster will (probably not) cure my crippling depression!!:))

what do you say on these?? i’m making these public because i need at least one person to see what i’m actually going through, but not a person directly involved with my life. because i don’t want anybody to care about me, it’s embarrassing and vulnerable and it’s come to the point where i have to keep myself away from my phone in order not to randomly emotionally unload on one of my friends or my boyfriend. i swear to god once something upsets me everything comes out like an AK47 lmfao

also today i have to go out and paint some ceramic fucking pot with my aunt to prove what exactly?? that i’m still kinda functioning? 

i mean this is what i hate about life, there is this meaningless element to it that nobody sees but me. i mean really… painting over priced ceramic figurines? who even came up with that idea? don’t get me wrong i love to paint and do art as much as any other depressed piece of shit but i’m tired and i just want to sleep for like 90 years

i also make it sound like i don’t have a great life right now, i do, but i didn’t always and i guess that’s the issue?? (i know, i don’t know why i care about the past so much either but according to my shrink i’ve been through some traumatic experiences and the past just poPs thE fucK UP WHENEVER IT DEEMS NECESSArYyyYyyYyy) ha

also i don’t even know if i’ll update this frequently it depends on how valuable i feel which………………. lately has not been a consistent feeling :))) so idk maybe u guys will be hearing way too much of me so uhhh good luck with that??

if i get around to it i’ll let y’all know how the trip to plaster fun time goes lmfao chances are it’ll be fine but who fuckin knows am i rite ladies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fuck

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