Depression

I’m just going to say this out to the world, i suffer from depression. Many would say oh, everyone has depression. Well, yeah everyone gets sad now and then, but when do we know the boundary between being  upset and  having depression? 

Such a serious introduction haha, i laugh and smile when i am uncomfortable, and i am definitely uncomfortable after crying about feeling lonely. Loneliness sucks. Let’s be honest, feeling lonely when you are in a huge group of people may feel so horrible, that the feeling sticks with you. That’s me. I feel lonely all the time, i can be laughing with my friends, or being with my marching band, and i feel oh so lonely. 

I wish people would understand this, not take it so lightly when i say i have depression. I dont open up just to anyone, i hold in my feelings, and who doesn’t relate with this? I hold in my feelings all the time, and feel guilty if i express my feelings. I feel disgusted with myself with i express feelings of sadness. I dont want to bother my friends, and make them feel sympathy towards me. I don’t want sympathy, i just want someone to understand how i am feeling. People would say go to a therapist, which i do go to therapy, but i am so bad at expressing my feelings, that the things i tell my therapist i have to say over and over and over in my head, before it can come out of my mouth. 

One thought on “Depression”

  1. I think the issue surrounding depression, is that even after you’ve expressed your feelings, there is no surefire button that will cause the depression to disappear now that someone else understands. And it’s heartbreaking, because you are just dying for some sort of lifeline, and I often almost wish my friends could fix it, because I know they all want to.

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