Not Perfect

I make so many mistakes.  It’s annoying.  Such a perfectionist it just won’t do for my mental psyche.  When I make a bad first impression I totally freak out inside.  Being the perfectionist it crushes me to pieces.  I always want to do a good job, I want to do it better than the last time.  My mind won’t have it any other way.  Acceptance.  I force it down my throat and choke on my failures.  Accept the best I’ve done.  Knock down the voices away.

Sometimes I’ll try to leave it messed up on purpose to see if I can let it go.  Not touch it.  Leave it like that.  Stop it please!  Stop trying to fix everything, god fucking dammit.  Somehow it kills me to just leave it.  I break out in rash and hives.  I break out in a mental tantrum to the point I can’t.  I just can’t.

Yeah I know mental issues.  You don’t have any?  Don’t point at me then.  Or tell me what you think you know is better.  Fuck off with your know it all attitude. 

2 thoughts on “Not Perfect”

  1. I so relate. I am a perfectionist. I can’t just let things go, I try. Boy do i try. Only to fix it 5 seconds later, because it feels like an hour!

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