I have the WORST luck

Ugh, i have so much to spill. So, since i was in like the 1st grade i have had this guy friend. He was my best friend at one point I adored the kid like no other. We grew up you know and at one point in like the 8th grade we kind of developed feelings but tbh does it count? Anyways we dated for 2 days and kissed once ONLY A PECK and then we broke up because I couldn’t do it like he had a sister and we were way too close it wouldve just been weird for me. After that, we kept it strictly friends and a little flirty here and there but nothing more we never hooked up we never did ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING! So once i started seeing my ex, he didn’t like how friendly we were which to a point was understandable i guess, so he made me stop being friends with him. Me and this guy went to the same high school so that didn’t stop us from being friends in school like he had a gf and I had a bf we weren’t stupid enough to do anything. Him and I just always had a really good chemistry and we enjoyed eachothers company. So anyways now that I have been seeing my new boyfriend, he also didn’t like that we were friends. We were just always texting each other and snapchatting it was honestly no big deal. It got to the point where this guy and I may have exchanged some flirtatious texts and you know my man blew his top ugh it was literally nothing and my boyfriend and I WERE NOT DATING YET AND THIS MOTHERFUCKER WAS SEXTING AND TALKING TO OTHER GIRLS ANYWAYS so my boyfriend got mad I stopped talking to the kid for a while. My boyfriend and I become official and I come to find out that my boyfriend may have fucked one of the hometown skanks… (he denies it to this day but I honestly don’t know) so i become upset and I hit my old friend up cause hes that friend that’ll be there no matter how long y’all were ghost. So yk we start talking again and I make sure to keep it appropriate but again my dude gets mad so I chill. I wanna say 5 months into dating I find out that my boyfriend was still sexting this girl who is also a notorious whore and he was doing it 2 months into our official serious relationship. So guess what ya girl does? I hit old dude back up and we start talking again and me being very fucking hurt and upset yk he listens and gives me advice and tells me i should leave my bf for him but it’s all jokes because that’s the kind of dude he is. So anyways my bf has caught me texting him multiple times and tbh its all innocent for the most part, yk he is a very playful friendly dude no matter who you are. So my dude gets mad and i tell him i would stop but I dont. On saturday I got stupid wasted and i texted him totally an accident I dont even remember or he texted me i honestly dont know but my bf was pissed we ended up talking it out and like fixed things but then MY DUMB ASS ugh this other dude texted me again on monday morning and i responded back explaining what happened and then i blocked his number BUTTTT on my apple watch the messages didn’t delete and then my boyfriend had my watch because I was washing dishes and since i hadn’t opened it on my watch so thats the first thing that popped up… ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE !!!!!!!!!!! He yelled and scremed, got in my face i pushed him he shoved me it was crazy. He called me a liar and accused me of cheating which okay I hid the texts but i NEVER cheated. Long story short were going through it and it sucks because my boyfriend had just opened up to me and told me how in love he was with me and how he wanted to marry me one day soon.. it broke my heart I never meant to hurt him but i did and now i have to fix things.. because he’s my best friend I cant lose someone like him. Wish me luck 🙁 


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