So, today I wokeup with a panic attack. It has happened before but usually it’s because I had a bad dream. But today was different because I couldn’t remember my dream maybe I did have one and I just can’t remember it. When I wake up with the terrible things called panic attacks it’s the absolute worse. It’s like I don’t know how to get rid of the anxiety for the rest of the day. I just feel so out of place. When I have days like this I jump at the sound of a ringing phone or the wind and I feel and look like a complete weirdo getting startled by that. But on another note. I’m off today I had work last night it went good I still didn’t get to talk to my boss though I won’t see her till tomorrow. I guess besides the anxiety I’m having a good day. The way my mind works is atleast something new that’s horrible didn’t happen. I feel like there’s always something happening in my life. So right now I’m just sitting here at 1:40pm wokeup about a half hour ago with no one home in complete silence. I don’t even have the tv on. I never wake up this late but I guess it was from my anxiety I slept so long. I’m going to try to have a good day today. It doesn’t have to be amazing or anything just a day where nothing wrong happens. This one is going to be short but I’m going to write tonight and let yous know if it went good. I really hope. Talk to you tonight.
21 yr old women. My life has always been a long rollercoaster that doesn’t seem to want to stop. Moms a alcoholic, stepdads abusive and glorified cause his job position, and having to raise my 14 year old sister has been rough. Father doesn’t know how to show his emotions not because he doesn’t want to but because of mental illness and social anxiety. Trust me I’ll be venting all my dirt to let it all out on here and what I wrote isn’t even half of it. This will be my exscape to let it all out. I just dont want to explode because I’m the one that always needs to keep it together and take care of other.