In about a few minutes, my just-started routine of weekly Wednesday Work will start. About half an hour ago, I was just engaged in a small argument with my teacher who had started late and was ending class late. After being scolded for talking in class(when we were discussing on the questions[this always freaking happens and I’m always the one who gets picked on more just because]) she figured that we were both in a hurry to leave(when actually we weren’t really) I asked for permission to leave class early and when she said that she will mark me absent if the reason wasn’t valid, I just flipped when she said that school should be priority after explaining that i had work.
1. It’s funny how some people think that I am actually making work a priority. But It made me think while on the train ride to work. That’s right. I’m a student. School should be my priority. I should be focusing on school, education, on learning new things and doing all that broadening perspectives thing. I almost continued arguing with the teacher(whom I seriously think has a thing against my face or something.) and just almost asked what were her priorities? Her work(meeting at NDC) or us(future game participants of this thing called society). Although she did tell us in advance of the changed lesson timing, but why should our limited time be compromised just because she has other arrangements, no matter how important? But it ain’t my place to decide what her priorities should be, cause that would be rude. And that is why I flipped there and then, because she had just decided what my priorities should be. In simple terms, who did she think she was to think what my life should be like.
But I guess she was right. I shouldn’t be working, shouldn’t be worrying.
2. It’s also funny( in a not so funny way) that people think I could make a choice between them. I swear to God that as much as I am trying to decide between work and other things, work will never ever be the preferred choice. It will never be something that I will ever want to choose. Put it in another way: I don’t have a choice.
I’m not saying that I am the hardest worker(in fact totally the opposite), or that my financial state is horrible to the point where I can’t feed myself(that happens sometimes though). But things ain’t the best, it isn’t “comfortable”. Although I suck at saving money, but I think that’s all the more reason I should get a part time job, have some allowance for myself, have the money to be able to get some daily necessities for the house. Shampoo, soap, groceries etc.
So how do I tell people that “work” still has to be part of the equation, that sometimes, I have to choose work? How do I not disappoint people when I have to tell them that, I cannot choose what you would expect me to choose? I swear once again, that I would with all my heart, choose CCA, choose school, choose friends, choose sleep, choose early bed time, choose energy, choose having a life. Over work, anytime. If life was that easy, I would be lying on a beach chair in some foreign exotic beach drinking some tall glass of exotic drink. But it ain’t that easy, so it all falls on me, I just gotta suck it up and not think about all the disappointment, all the negativity that was created, and just make the best out of my sucky life-choices-making.
ps. This post was in 2014/2015. Now 2018, I look back and thought about the times I learned my teacher was going through a bad divorce during that period, reason why she was being so unreasonable.
Until when do we decide the line was crossed and do we stand up for ourselves? What would happen if I made a huge fuss or react how I was supposed to? I’ll catch up on this topic later on.