Today, is Saturday. I am off of work. It feels good not to get up at the crack of dawn, and hit the shower, get hair and makeup done to face the day serving customers. Weekends, well Saturday’s, are my ME day. I do what I want, when I want, how I want. If I want to sit in jammies all day. I will.
I changed my profile picture, to be a little more anonymous, in fact the new profile picture, sort of does resemble me a little. Coffee in hand. Chug chug.
Let me be perfectly honest, I do not have a lot of secrets, or drama in my life. I do have lots of pet peeves, and irritations though. Maybe someday, I may have some juicy, I hate life, and other blog worthy material. Not today though. I guess, at my age, one comes to expect things, and just roll with the punches. I don’t dwell on the poor me thing. I work things out to the best of my ability, and I normally ignore the negative aspects of life. I guess 20 years ago up to my 40’s I was in a different mind set. Turmoil, chaos, confusion. I had secrets, I lived a somewhat “sinful” life. Not anything that put me in jail or the use of drugs. Just things, that hurt other people. I grew from those experiences. I forgave myself, and accepted me for me. I did not like those feelings way back then, even though I thought I did. It is very safe to say, that now days, I am a much better person.
I read a lot of journals on here. I don’t always comment, but I do make you a favorite, to keep up on your life story. I read, and say, “ooh I have so been there!” There is real no advise that I can give. For some of you have to work it out in your own way, in your own time. Things do get better. A little thing called; “wisdom” suddenly appears in your mid-40’s. I know it’s strange, but one day you are feeling one way, then the next it is like BAM!!! Your mind just switches to saying, “what the hell was I doing or thinking?” Other things become important, like you, family, spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend, etc.
Personally, I do not have many friends. I don’t even have a best friend. I have had those before. I chose to alienate myself from all of that. I am not a loner by any means. I do have friends, but I do not chum around with them. I don’t go to girls nights, or anything like that. My best friend is my husband. Why do I chose this lifestyle? I guess it’s because, of all the drama involved in “friendships” I am not a big drama fan. I had friends like me, then talk about me, and the cat fights begin. It is a horrid situation. My husband and I have couple friends. We do go out to dinner and drinks with them, but we do not hang out with them every weekend. We love spending time together.
I met my husband, after a horrible first marriage. WE were friends. While I was going through the big D, we got closer, we found so much common ground. He makes me laugh like no other, I make him laugh. We had a friendship that lasted many years. Who knew there was so much attraction with each other? We married in 2006. He knew my past, he knew who I was. He never judged, nor belittled me. He was always a friend, who encouraged me to figure it out myself, and never gave me unwanted advice. I figured it out.
Life is a strange thing. If you really think about it, one does not have much time on earth to live it. Why not just live life to it’s fullest while you are here? My son, who is 23, often suffers from a mild depression, will sit in his house, and not even open the door when life takes him down. It takes a little coaxing to get him to come out and do something productive, but love and understanding goes a long way. He was down, do to being laid off from his job. I think he was waiting for someone to knock on his door and say, “Congratulations!!! You won a job” I told him, if you want something bad enough, you have to make the effort to seek it out. You can’t start on the top, and expect the roses to grow. Everything has a starting point, and it’s usually from the ground up, depending on your ambition and thought process. If you see yourself as a failure, you will live your life like one. I guess my little conversation helped out, for now he found a real job that is 40 hours a week, and weekends off! He now has the light back into his eyes, a little. Sometimes people, need that little push.
I can possibly go on about this subject for hours. I will refrain from doing that. I don’t want to put anyone to sleep. If, I already did, I apologize.
Enjoy your Saturday.