This year I would like to be wiser, be a better example for my kids, have a social life and be happy. But somehow I have doubts. I have been a mother for 11 years, I should know better by now,but some days I do not. I hate parents cliques at my kids school. I hate feeling invisible, I hate pretending like everything is fine. When my daughter started kindergarten I was naive for my age. I assumed we are all here to help our kids grow to be kind,supportive,respectful people,not to play mad games and glorify our personal agenda.
I watched “ Big,little lies” recently and it kind of reminded me of very upscale version of our school, except it is worse. Geographically we are in sunny California,mentally in hell. I wish mothers I see almost daily could stop pretending, gossiping and forming unhealthy cliques.
I realized that the popular girls in my kids school are border line bullies with 2 different faces : one for their peers and one for adults. Bullying ( called an opinion) is pretty much accepted if it is inforced by a popular girl. It seems to blossom among the girls in 2-5 th grades. I have been volunteering art school and observing it for some time. Boys seem to be a little more honest,the girls are the queens of mind games of not such beautiful minds.My daughter got on the wrong side by standing up against bullying and trying to protect few people who have been experiencing the same issue. Now she is invisible. I guess at least she is not being picked on. How do you deal with it? One day at a time. I am sad. My kid used to be the one who walked around and wanted to make friends,make people feel better, have fun and now she is a loner. This our journey to change her attitude and start believing in people.
Elementary school is not supposed to be so hard socially,but it is. Popularity is a currency and they treasure it and use it the way it fits their needs.