Sweet Heart Of Mine…

The dating project is over, I think. We haven’t talked in almost a week when we haven’t gone more than a day since we met. I’ll admit, I haven’t reached out to him either. I have thought about it time and time again but the urge is followed by this feeling that God is telling me to let it be. I’m just… disappointed. It took a lot for me to be open to dating after Andrew and as much as I wanted to have my guard up, I knew that wouldn’t give anyone or any relationship a real chance. So I let my walls down, I soaked up the moments of joy, the laughter, those giddy feelings of butterflies and smiles for days… But I wasn’t naive this time. I took mental notes of things that concerned me or might be “flags”. But at the end of the day, I was open to seeing where things would lead us. So I’m surprised things ended so abruptly and it’s definitely tugging on my heart strings. I’m doing that thing where you run to the phone with every text and hope it’s him thing. I have been tempted to post on Instagram to see if it’ll prompt conversation. But the truth is, I’ve been here. I know better. I’m not chasing anyone. I’ve learned my lesson and I’ll deal with the heartache. I was mistaken, again. I want to scold myself and put myself down, insisting it’s my fault and I’m doing something wrong or it’s me but hear me loud and clear when I say that I did nothing wrong and that I am worthy of love and adoration. He just wasn’t the right guy. And that sucks. It’s one of those great almosts. And who knows, maybe in time he’ll find his footing and we’ll reconnect. Maybe not. What I know is that in this moment, he isn’t here and I am continuing forward. I feel sad, hurt and a little angry but that’s okay… I’ll sit with it and be uncomfortable and hope that it passes sooner rather than later. But I will also keep my head held high knowing that my Prince Charming is out there and God has a plan. Patience is a virtue, right?

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