Im so angry at him. 

I hate how much he ignores me. He doesnt know I see everytime hes read my emails to him.. WHy do I feel this way towards him. I can’t mentally do it anymore. I need him out of my life but yet i dont know how to stop. How can I? He’s so addictive. He makes me weak. I hate him sometimes yet I love him so much. He doesn’t belong to me and thats what hurts. I want him to need me and want me the way I need him and want him… 

 I try and make physical contact with someone thats not him and its hard. I dont want others I want him. 

I drinking a hard cider and picked up some take out. I’m craving the touch of a man. but yet I cant find myself to be with anyone. 

I’ve been separated from the father of my children for 2 years. I dont miss his touch but I miss my family even though it wasnt real. I thought it was suppose be that way.. For years I thought so.. Im happy, so why do I sometimes feel this way? 

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