New here

When I was about 15 I lived on open diary. I always found it a sense of comfort now I’m 33 and I feel more lost in my life than ever before.
I was always driven to work hard I actually loved working and got my first job at 14 in a book factory. I babysat before then when I was 12. At 21 I became a manager then I became a head supervisor at a large organization.
I don’t work anymore I’m merely a shell of the person I used to be. How I got here is a long story that I will write about in time. I whisper “I hate myself” about 200 times a day because it’s the truth I do hate myself.
Today I’m struggling with ptsd and it’s been really rough I feel very alone so I’m sitting in my living room just drinking which is a nightly event the only way I sleep and stop the thoughts.

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