quiet please 2018

so today is the first day of my second year of community college?? i dunno how to feel tbh because every semester turns out to be a shit show but this year i’m really hoping to be more motivated??? i dunno. things like this are just sometimes too much for me to handle. not to mention that i don’t even know if one of my coworkers is taking my shift tomorrow??? she said she would but then another coworker says she flakes out a lot. which is fine i guess but i have school tomorrow and i’m kind of trying my best not to miss classes cos last semester i missed a shit ton lol. 

mostly because my psychology teacher was a prick and my human services teacher didn’t know his ass from his elbow, but that’s besides the point. the point is even if my teachers are shit heads this semester i’m gOIngggg to try hard anyway.

also, the last time i wrote i mentioned i was going to plaster fun time and well that didn’t actually happen because my alcoholic foster parent decided that i could suddenly have rats as pets. (i will admit i was kind of thankful for her inhibition that day) i have two girls one named ginkgo and one named lotus. they’re incredibly hand shy and soon i’m planning a vet visit for them both, i just want to be safe rather than sorry i guess. i’ve always loved rats so much, especially because through them we have made tremendous breakthroughs in social science. 

so anyway, yep, i’m a rat mom. (a helicopter mom is what my friend bree likes to call me) but can anybody really blame me??? i mean rats are prone to all sorts of things, i just want to make sure they’re alright… i got them a huge cage and lots of toys, they were feeder rats which believe me, i know i shouldn’t have got them, but they were like!!! i dunno!! pleading me with their eyes!!! (i know they weren’t really) and i know they’ll just be replaced so i didn’t actually save anything, but… BUttttttt, i dunno. i’m giving them a good life for what time they may have left, it shouldn’t be wrong for me to wanna do that.

also — i kind of had a mental break two days ago where i drank way too much wine and started to cry (an excessive amount) about my ex’s on the phone to my friend. definitely not my proudest moment… and also ended up somehow picking up the phone when my boyfriend called (bad idea) he was just worried though, which is nice. and he said i wasn’t that embarrassing, which is also nice to hear but yeah. he took me for a drive the next day and we talked a bunch, got lost for a few hours…. anddddddddddddd fucked in the backseat of his car so. i mean he’s always great like that, he takes my mind off things which is good. like a mini vacation. i needed it.

sigh, but anyway, class starts in fifteen, actually less than that. but i’m waiting on bree (dunno where she is) but she told me to meet her in the computer lab, which i’m actively doing. i’m super tired and i probably look like ass but lol, what else is college for right????

talk later probably i dunno,


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