This week is a tough week but for some reason I’m doing well. Might be because I have a cold so I’m just too busy keeping my mind occupied. This week is a tough week because Friday is the 19th, meaning it will be 4 years since my dad passed away.
But instead of talking about my father, I want to talk about another memory that plays through my head as this week unfolds.
In 2013 I was dating this guy/started to and I thought he was a pretty cool dude. We met at work, and shortly later we started talking. The day he asked me to be his girlfriend, we were at the park and after we were done with the walk he had to leave for whatever reason. Everything seemed fine and dandy and I was pretty happy about him. New years 2014, we’re out, and for some reason he is taking forever to meet me. Throughout the night he said he was on his way until 15-20 mins until the ball dropped we finally met up at the bar. We left the one we were at to go to another one that he said he could get me in (while I was 20.) Anyways, we got to the bar, and with him knowing the bouncers, I got in. Night goes on and this girl starts hitting him on his back. I was confused why but I assumed she was his friend before or an ex. She hit me, and at that point I tuned around and said some words, which made her back off. He told me later that night he didn’t know why she did that. Oh well. That week goes on, and my dad was pretty sick. His oxygen was really low and wasn’t going up. My brother called the ambulance, and they took him to the hospital. Getting to the hospital was crazy. He was on a breathing tube, and going crazy because of it being down his throat. I remember looking in my dads eyes and seeing so much pain because he wanted it out. I told the doctors that he wanted it out, and they told me that if they did he would die. So panic mode is now off and I am numb. I calm my dad down so they could sedate him and go see my mom. The doctor comes over and tells us he’s probably not going to make it and that we should call our relatives and tell them whats going on. My mom is going crazy, Im going crazy but trying to not show it, except for crying. My boyfriend is not helpful at all because earlier that day some girl told me he was cheating on me. AHHHH. So i have so much shit that I was dealing with I literally had enough of everything. Sorry ppl im getting off track. Back to the black angel. So the girl kept texting me throughout the night saying how she was going to carve his name in her stomach. (weird bitch.) I blocked her, because he told me she was a crazy ex and to not believe anything. (stupid me believed it) SO i had asked him to come to the hospital and he couldn’t make it because he was at a concert for his friend? Okay. SO month goes past, I don’t feel like myself because my dad passed away. Its valentines day and he “lost his wallet.” We had plans to do stuff but the whole day he spent looking for it. I made him something nice with candy. He had me come over to his house and eat with his family, and then went up stairs for a while, then came back down with a letter he said he did not write a couple mins prior (which I knew he did.) Wellllll theres more. He would bail on me quite a bit and when we would have plans he would always have to leave so fast. This one time he couldn’t come see me because he had to get his oil changed at 8pm because his friend was going to France the next day. OK DUMBASS IM NOT THAT DUMB. At this point I just wanted to break up with him, but everyone around me was like “nooo give him a chance.” Then he got kicked out of his parents’s house, and I snuck him in mine a couple times, and bought food for him. The first time I ever had sex was with him. Mind you I was a virgin and we were dating for like 4/5 months, and for some reason his had condoms in his cigarette box. Now if we weren’t having sex why did he have them? Yepp. Exactly.. some other hoe. Fast forward to May 26, 2014. My dad had always told me he would have my back, so that night I prayed to him and God about what to do. The next day I was at my gymnastics lesson and I was talking to my coach and the same girl that texted me in January about him cheating texted me again and sent me a picture of him and her together. He denied it, even tho the picture was him wearing the hoodie I got him for christmas. I was done. I dumped his ass and never looked back. He was the biggest piece of shit I had ever met. Still is today. The main thing that pisses me off, is that he told me he would pay me back for the baseball bat he wanted me to get because of my discount. and NEVER DID. FUCKING ASSHOLE.