[168] ~*Wed – 01/17/18*~

[11:51 pm]

I hate myself so much right now. I find my hair too long so today I texted my hairdresser to ask her to fix it and to also try another color for the pink. I asked hub to check where my hair was ending and it’s at the right place so I just don’t understand why I find it so long. Since it stops at the right place, I think I don’t want to have it cut anymore. She’s gonna hate me. I feel so awful for being myself and never being happy as nothing is never perfect. I honestly don’t understand why I am like I am but it’s quite annoying and I hate myself very much for it. 

I also hate myself cause I totally forgot all of our pills at mom’s which is two hours away. That said, I don’t have any freaking sleeping pills and I’m sick again and I work from 9 am to 8 pm tomorrow. This is just so great!

On the better side, we had a lovely time at my mom’s. We first stopped in town cause hub needed to go to the dentist. He left us at the Entertainment Center while he went to the dentist which was blah cause we were done playing our $20 in no time so we just sat in the little lobby and waited for hub to come pick us up. I did make $20 but of course my friend lost her money. I could of played my winnings but I decided to be good and keep them as I have been spending a lot lately.

We then made our way to mom and once there we had some delicious smelts. Yumz! I had been wanting some for ever and I’m so glad my mom made us some. We then went back to town to see Paddington 2 which I didn’t even watch the first one. I didn’t really wanted to see that movie but mom wanted too so we went but in the end I’m glad we did go cause it was super cute. I didn’t think I would enjoy it like I did. Of course we went back to the Entertainment Center after the movie and I feel so bad cause mom lost so much money. She had won some last time she went but she ended up playing it all and losing it all. I ended up making $20 again so I came back home with $40 more than when I left. That’s good!

Mom had bought a game but we didn’t even play it. We got back to her place and everyone just wanted to be lazy. We still managed to only go to bed at almost 2 am and I slept until almost 1 pm. My mom and friend had some fun together as they made meat pies in the morning.

Our way back was terrible as it was storming and of course I was the one driving. Hub drove up to town and when we stopped for gas we switched place. Smart little devil he is! Took me an extra half hour as the roads were horrible but I still managed to drive some what fast. My friend kept telling me that I did very good and that she was proud of me as the roads were just horrible and I couldn’t see shit. I didn’t even know where I was really driving. Lol! I was mainly okay, it was just when we would meet cars that I would stress a bit as you never know what the other person will do. But I managed to get us all safely back home.

Now let’s try to sleep without a pill. I’m tired so hopefully it will be alright. I’m not even gonna bother with reading cause I feel too tired.




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