We finally went back to school today- two hour delay, but at least we went. One more two hour delay and we will have to make up another day. I got to see all my kids except for 1st hour. I am going to do my observation tomorrow. I will be happy to get it over with. Killian has volunteered me to work ESS on Tuesdays and Thursdays after school. Ugh. I definitely need to money, but I hate to give up the time. I will also have to fucking reschedule all of my therapy appointments that I scheduled for Tuesdays, AND I am supposed to go to the orthodontist on the 23rd to get my retainer fixed- also a fucking Tuesday. Ugh. I don’t want to do 8th grade, that alone makes me salty. I don’t know any of those kids and it will take forever to build relationships with them so that I can even get them to do anything.
Just Keep Swimming
I am a 47 year old adult child of an alcoholic. My childhood could have been a Lifetime movie. I am dealing with PTSD, anxiety, and severe depression as a result. I am working on gaining an understanding as to what this means and learning how to be okay with myself. Some days, just killing myself and being done with it seems like the most sensible option. On those days, I keep telling myself, "just keep breathing in and out, that's enough for today."