We need to be told it’s ok!

we all need to hear those words ‘it’s going to be ok’ ‘I’m here for you’ that’s what I am to other people, I’m the rock, I’m the friend that helps but where are people when I need the help.. I don’t talk to people becuase they judge too freely and happily, never wanting to take the time to understand why I say the things I do, a ‘can you try tell me in your words why self harm is hard’ but be nice, instead it’s the ‘use self control, you’ll be fine.. just becuase I’m not cutting, it doesn’t stop any hurting, nothings working, I hate myself because of the way my brain works ‘chemical imbalance they say, they say it like it’s nothing but I’m unable to feel the same as others, I can’t process things the same.. put a clock in front of me and I’m gonna be unable to tell you the time.. to me self harming was something I done becuase it took away my pain and it’s something I could actually control and I could actually feel something finally.. now I have so much built up anger and pain and tears and no way to let it out and it’s so frustrating.. there’s nobody around me that I can just grab hold of and cry and just feel protected for a second.. right now I just feel like a lions prey waiting to be swallowed whole.. I try to not be so negative but there’s only so much negative crap you can deal with before It starts affecting you! Everyone I’ve ever cared about has either left or died, I’m walking on eggshells daily just waiting for the day everyone else goes because everyone leaves, nobody stays!

 

One thought on “We need to be told it’s ok!”

  1. This post is a few months old, but do you hear those words, and hear them enough? I send this comment from another perspective, I’m often the one to say that to others. There is a specific person I say them to, and when things go bad for her, she can’t bear to hear them from me because the realization she can’t give me what she wants to give me makes her feel even worse. So when I care (and I do, too much) it sends her away. I wish everybody did want to hear those words, and everybody wanted to say them to others in need. I do wish the world worked that way as well.
    Anyway, my point it … thanks for making me think and presenting this viewpoint. And … maybe your journal helps. You’ll be okay. Perhaps you need some stability in your life? I hope you find that.

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