For the past two weekends, I have experienced something that I hope to never experience again. Long story short: I met a boy. He told me everything I wanted to hear, we hooked up, blah blah blah. It was nothing. I thought to myself, “hm he seems nice I wonder where this could go”. I see him the next weekend and honestly the next morning I had butterflies in my stomach about where this could go. I thought to myself “FINALLY a nice and normal guy who has his shit together”. So I asked him if he wanted to go get sushi one night…ya know something super casual. And the response I got back was not one that I was expecting. And I came to find out that he has a current girlfriend back at home that he has been dating for now 3 years. He continued to brush it off like they were gonna break up soon and tried convincing me that it wasn’t a big deal. Yeah no IT IS A BIG DEAL.
**Flashback to about a year ago** I dated my high school sweetheart up until my senior year at college when I discovered that he had been cheating on me. I was heartbroken. I was going to marry this man, I was sure of it. The pain that I felt….I hope that no woman ever. feels that type of pain. Ever.
**Present** So when I discovered this news that this new boy I met has a girlfriend back home, I of course got fucking angry that I was being used to help someone cheat on their significant other. The worst part about this whole thing was that this boy tried to tell me just to wait and see what happens. Meaning that he expected me to sit here and wait until he decides if he is going to break up with his current girlfriend or not. He got mad and said I was overreacting at this situation. He even tried to flip the tables on me and make me feel like the bad guy for being such a bitch to him. I was so upset. I cried myself to sleep wondering why I keep attracting these type of guys in my life. Why wasn’t I good enough? Why do these guys only want something physical and intimate from me, but nothing more?
Then, I remembered who I was. I am NOBODY’S second choice. I’m not some side piece you can treat like this. I’m amazing and one day I will meet that guy who is right for me. All of these terrible guys that I am meeting now are only preparing me for the great one I will meet one day. These failed attempts are God’s way of showing me what I DON’T deserve in a relationship. I am worth so much more. It took me some time to realize this, but once I did something inside of me just switched and I began having a whole new mindset regarding situations like this. So I thank all of the men who have wronged me for showing me what I know I don’t deserve. Seriously, thank you.
If you EVER feel like you are someone’s second choice, remember who you are and I promise you the game will change. You are amazing and deserve the world, don’t ever let anyone tell you differently. Accept nothing less than what you KNOW YOU DESERVE.