As the day continues, I think about what I’ve accomplished today. I think my biggest achievement is getting up every morning. But the hardest is when you’ve been challenging yourself and someone comes and knocks you over. I got knocked down in my lecture today. I felt as if someone had just crushed my heart and once again – I had no hope. It’s so hard when you have people who try to build you from the ground up and then a ‘friend’ comes along and ruins everything.
Does this sound pathetic? I guess I am too sensitive, but I was programmed this way.
I learned to stop giving to others who don’t share the same amount of gratitude for me. It hurts to try so hard and get nothing but less in return. I don’t give to receive, but I’d like to think we’re on the same page. //
I haven’t seen my therapist in a while. I’m getting super stressed out. I keep thinking about him and I want to find him. I hate that this consumes me still. I want to be free of him.