The Worst Day of My Life

I am aware I already talked about this subject before but the assignment does ask for a memory we remember vividly. My memory is not the best and unlucky me remembers this horrendous event. I do not remember every detail because my mind has learned how to block it to the best of its ability but I still remember much of it.

I don’t like the winter. Winter takes my depression and makes it worse. It’s not because I have seasonal affective disorder but rather my trauma happened during winter time so I associate winter with it.

It was a normal morning so far. I got up for school, which I did not want to. I was a freshman in high school and it was not the best. While I was in the bathroom getting ready at the sink, I got a text from my best friend. She asked if it was okay for her to come over that morning.

I didn’t think anything of it. She came to my house numerous times in the morning. We would hang out and just go to my bus stop. It wasn’t out of character for her at all.

I obviously responded that she could and that was that.

She came over and I remember her being all bundled up. It was very cold that morning and she was even wearing her winter hat that looked like a purple cat. She had gotten her hair cut a few days prior and it looked amazing on her. It framed hheart-shapedped face nicely.

It sucks that I do not remember what we talked about at all. All I remember is me making a joke about an apple and her laughing before I left the room…

Anyway, we went into my kitchen to chill for a little bit. She sat at the table and my dog was so happy to see her. My dog would wag her tail and demands pets from her. I, on the other hand, sat my kitchen counter working on flashcards. It was for US History and I had forgotten to do them the night before so I was rushing to finish them.

We planned to leave the house at 6:30, if I remember. At 6:20 I got up and asked if she wanted anything to eat because I was feeling peckish. She got up and followed me but told me she wasn’t hungry and she had already ate before the got here. I saw the apple and made a joke about how it looked and she laughed with me.

I was wearing a tank top and I obviously couldn’t wear that to school. My sweater was warming up in the dryer. It was an idea I had. I would warm up my sweaters and put them on right before leaving the house so I wasn’t cold in the morning. It wasn’t cold enough for a coat though. Especially with the fact it was that time of the year where the afternoons were still pretty warm out.

I left the room. I wasn’t even gone for two minutes… When I was walking back I heard a noise. A noise that would haunt me for the rest of my life. My kitchen is large and when I got to the entry way I saw her body, across the room, on the floor. I thought she was joking with me so I called out her name a few times. No response. Anxiety started to slowly flood over me.

Walking over to her body, I finally saw the big pool of blood around her head. My brain, however, was trying to think of other possible explanations as to what the dark red liquid could be besides blood. I even thought it could’ve been red wine out of all things! That is ridiculous. What I think really got me was when I saw her face… I just snapped and bolted out of the room to my mom’s room. 

My best friend never made it. Even if she was surrounded by the world’s top surgeons and medical equipment when she decided to…kill…herself, there was still no possible chance of her being saved…To this day I still wonder why she did it. I knew she was depressed but never knew she was suicidal…

And that pretty much sums up the worst day of my life.

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