’m scared if I turn around – he’s right behind me. Watching me and waiting to make his move.  I love the lights hitting my face and the flashes of the disco ball shinning in and out of my eyes, it feels nice to feel so free. I love letting loose and forgetting any of my problems. It feels like I’m on a high of whatever drugs you can name…

i am not ready to be in an environment that triggers me, but I do it to test my limits. It’s scary pushing on the pedal to go fast, but I really just want to stay stalled. I can’t live my life in fear, he will not get that hold against me. I refuse. I want to get drunk and dance and not worry about my surroundings. How is it fair that women have to watch how much they drink, what they wear, and how they present themselves because men in this world take that as an opportunity to attack?

I cant be vulnerable in such environment but I want to get wasted. I am sad but what risks am I willing to take?

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