You know those days back in high school when you were just trying to fit in and it was hard cause of all the status quos or the pressures of being a teenager?
It was depressing that you kept on trying and trying but still you can’t seem to fit in – so you think. While your peers are getting along with the others so easily… And you find it hard for some reason.
That’s how I found out about Chester and Chris – best buddies in music. Their songs really hit me and helped me get through… Like finally finding someone who literally understands what is going on in your head and in your heart… Every thought, emotion – all that you can’t verbalize.
Some people thought I was just too attached to music but little did they know, it became my best friend in the past years, which helped me get through my own mental illness. My parents thought it was just another part of my fan-girl things, but it was more than that. Maybe because Chris and Chester both know what it’s like to have a mental illness so it was very easy to relate, to connect.
So when Chris Cornell took his own life… Then Chester followed months later… I was devastated and angry that they gave up… Devastated because they have helped and inspired a lot of people like myself to continue and live… Angry because while they were trying to lend their own strengths and hearts to others, they have lost theirs making everything so heavy – a reason for anyone to give up. No, I take that back. I’m not angry, just sad that it was too much for them to handle. I think it’s just unfair to them.
After then, I was reintroduced to God… then I transferred my hopes unto Him.
I thought that maybe if everyone had done the same thing… Putting hope unto God and not on our fellow-human-person… Maybe it’ll be less hard for them… And also I kept on thinking whether they had the same chance that I had. I hope they did.
Now if you’ll ask me about my life… How is it… I’d say it’s pretty much the same – chaotic, messy, filled with problems but for some reason, there’s peace and solace within.
Rest in peace, Chris and Chester, all my prayers go to your families