Friday January 26th

I met with my principal about my observation. It went well. She really likes me and has a lot of good things to say about me as a teacher. She asked me about taking team leader next year. I told her I didn’t want to step on any toes- I didn’t want to make anyone mad at me. If I am back in this school next year, though, I could do it. And she seemed like it would be no problem for me to have all 6th grade next year. That was also good news. However, I will be out of here if I get that big job downtown. I would be a fool not to take it.  If I don’t get it, I will be on the PBIS committee next year, too, so that I can get more experience in that area. I wonder who the PBIS coach is here? I have no idea- Kip, maybe. 

I am going to get my life straightened out. I don’t think about killing myself all the time, anymore. I go days now without thinking about it at all. It is not at all in my plans at the moment. That has to be a good sign. It is good to have my friends nearby again. 

I have done things in the past that I am not proud of, but that doesn’t have to determine my future. I am a good person now. I am a good, loving, caring teacher to some of the neediest kids in my district every day. I try to help my brother when I can. I try to support my children when I can. I am nice to my mother and I watch what I say to her. I hold back things I think that would serve no purpose in saying. I can honestly say I am a good person. I have no control as to what other people think of me, nor should I even care. I was dealt a shit hand as a kid, but I persevered and survived that shit. I need to learn to be okay with being alone. Maybe I can be a foster parent. I am going to survive. 

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